We’re breaking from tradition today and writing out a “negative” list for you. And we’re doing this just to get a bit of variety – since we always focus on the positive message, and rightly so. We just hit a snag with our sense of humour today. Anyway, you know the drill – just do the opposite of what is on this list to be successful, aight? Here goes:
One: Act Before You Think
Move on instinct or impulse. Who cares about planning, right? YOLO. See something you like? Buy it? See something better after that? Buy it too. Want to sleep with anyone without protection? Go ahead? What is life if it’s not for living? We live in the modern world, so feed all your hedonistic pleasures. Those who fear consequences are in bondage.
Two: Quit When It’s Tough
Life is for living, and self-preservation is part of it. Going through some tough times – screw it and call it quits. It clearly wasn’t meant to be the path for you to take, right? Who cares about persistent and resilience anyway? Those are for uptight people. Remember – you can’t fail if you don’t try. Why bother?
Three: Look At The Problems First
Want to do something? Forget about it! If it’s a problem that hasn’t been solved yet, there’s a reason for this. There are too many barriers in the way, and is therefore not worth your time. You could be spending that time drinking or partying. Loosen up and live for the moment.
Four: Take Shortcuts
You know how there is often more than one way to do something right? That’s why God created shortcuts – for us to use. Why bother doing things right? What have those suckers ever gained anyway? Just relax and let the problems take care of themselves.
Five: Don’t Sweat It
You know why people get haunted by their problems? Because they don’t know how to let go. Why bother having ambition? We’re all going to die and be forgotten anyway. Why bother eating healthily? All that goes in comes out anyway. Just be happy with eating, getting drunk and watching TV. Life is good!
Alrighty then – what have you learnt? Hopefully you haven’t taken the tips above at face value and are scrounging to follow it. I have to point it out because some people don’t get sarcasm. In fact, I’m sometimes blind to it meself. While some of the things above seem easy and good, it shouldn’t be the way to go about things.
Part of life is going through struggle, and struggle brings about a sense of resilience and character development. Not trying to get all existential and stuff, but even the bible states that “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;”. Learn from the wisdom that has been passed down and aim to be a success by not emulating those “tips” above.
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