If you are an adult, chances are that you have had your fair share of relationships in the past. For most of us, some of the relationships we have had are toxic, although we can only identify it as such once it has ended. However, the fact is that you might or might not be in a toxic relationship now. Here are some tell-tale signs that you might be.
One: It’s all about your partner
This one is the most common complaint, and yet it is moulded out of human nature. I mean, you would not be in a relationship unless it brings to you more than what it would have been if you were single, right? But relationships are about compromise. If you don’t agree with this point, then you probably shouldn’t be in one.
A toxic one-sided relationship of such a nature is when one partner makes it all about himself/herself. If you find that you can’t have a two-sided conversation with your partner where your opinion is listened to, considered, and respected, you might be in one of these. Just ask yourself when your partner last considered your opinion.
Two: You put on a different persona in front of your partner
Do you find yourself always watching your words and actions, and always holding your tongue and not being able to voice out your honest opinion in front of your partner? If yes, then it might be a toxic relationship in that sense. A healthy relationship is when both partners respect one another’s point of view.
Does that mean that both parties have to think and feel the same way about every issue? Absolutely not! But in a healthy relationship, both partners are able to recognise that the other has a different opinion to a particular topic, and that is perfectly okay. It shouldn’t be something that jeopardises it.
Three: You don’t enjoy good quality time together
This point might seem fundamental but is often overlooked. Part of a relationship is being able to simply enjoy the presence of one another. If you find yourself always embroiled in some kind of drama and disagreement with your partner, then your relationship might be toxic.
If your partner is always raising issues to pick a fight with you, you can be sure that the relationship is toxic. If you are the one who always finds some fault with your partner, it’s high time you tried to make a change. Sorry for being harsh, but it’s called tough love.
Four: You feel like everything you’re doing is wrong
Are you good enough? Well, if your partner constantly doubts or undermines that, then the relationship is definitely toxic. In an earlier point, I stated that having different viewpoints on some topics is alright. However, if that causes your partner to put you down, then beware!
That being said, if you feel ashamed a lot of the time because your partner tells you that you are doing everything wrongly, or if they mock your personality, then it is not a healthy relationship. In fact, if you think about it, such actions are simply power dynamics at play, where your partner wants to have the upper hand all the time.
Five: Your personal growth is restricted
Look, we are all humans here. Apart from stability, we also want the opportunity to grow and develop – this applies even to the least ambitious of us. If you are in a healthy relationship, your partner would want you to grow as a person as much as you want them to.
If your partner tries to stop you from growing and developing, unless of course your growth is clearly unhealthy ie increased drug use, then I reckon that the nature of the relationship is similar to that of our earlier points!
So, what do you think about your own relationship after reading this? Don’t just think of how your partner feels, but also examine whether some of your behaviours are toxic to him or her! If you have friends or family who need to hear this message, feel free to forward this article to him or her.
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