Happiness is the thing everyone is searching for, but is elusive to some. Did you know that even people who seem to have it all together can also be unhappy? Believe it or not, and you may choose not to, this observation is true in modern day. And no, if you find yourself in such a position yet still feel this way, it does not mean that you are ungrateful.
Let me ask you this question – what convictions about happiness did you have as you were growing up? Confusing question, but simple answer. If you grew up in the western world, you probably bought into the idea that having certain material things in life will make you happy. And yes, I bought into that too. We can even start mapping it out – houses, money, cars, spouse, children, holidays, a good job etc etc. Sound familiar?
Has it ever occurred to you that if you are thinking in that way, you might be drinking the kool aid that western society fed to you? It is a status quo thing, isn’t it? Live like an automaton and measure up to the expectations set by society, otherwise you’ll be labelled as weird, deviant or someone not worthy of respect. Take the blue pill and don’t even think of questioning the system.
When will the epiphany come and what will it be? Most people, myself included, will never ever reach this point. A select few will. When one questions their happiness a lot, they might reach a point where they discover that thus far they have been living to impress other people rather than themselves. That is the missing piece of the puzzle. So if you are close to this point, here are some questions you should ask yourself.
One: What is “true”, and is it important?
As humans, we are all unique and special. There are many social cues in this world that we pick up, and all of them shape our existence. This includes all our feelings, thoughts, and subsequently, actions too. Sometimes we will have a gut feeling that something doesn’t quite feel right. So the next time you feel that way, take a step back and consider an alternate viewpoint.
Two: What’s your calling? Is it important?
I am a firm believer, so are many others, that all of us have a calling in this world. Most of us, however, won’t really know what it is until they find it. The past generations, of course, don’t even believe in this concept. However, if you are one of the fortunate few who has found their calling, you will know what it means. Use your intuition.
Three: What is consistently wrong in your life?
I’m going to make you feel a little bit uncomfortable and suggest an audit of your life. Chances are that you will find some things that aren’t working all that well. Hard as it might be, if those things fall into the category of being toxic, then you’re really better off without them. Conversely, keep the things that are working, and sign up for things that you can envision will work.
Four: How much focus do you have on yourself?
This is an area a lot of us are not comfortable thinking about. All of us, pretty much, have the desire to be visible and acknowledged; it’s an important element of our self-worth regardless of who we are. We also have a tendency to focus on our shortcomings rather than our achievements. There’s nothing wrong with addressing shortcomings for self-improvement purposes, but achievements are just as important.
Now that you have encountered these four questions, how do you feel? These points were not meant to give you all the answers and all the happiness in the world straightaway, but to merely provide some perspective that you might not have considered before. I wish you all the best, and that you find a system that works for you.
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Mark is an all-rounded guy with dreams, aspirations, and a desire to be a better version of himself. Having conquered obesity, he set-up Granite Fitness to help regular people get in shape and stay healthy. Mark spends his days helping distressed Uni students through difficult situations. He holds three science degrees and a Diploma of Christian counselling. In his spare time, Mark does freelancing and runs a series of online operations with his business partner Atanas. Connect with Mark @ http://au.linkedin.com/in/marksptan